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okej borde väl berätta hela sanningen…
Skrev nyss på slybaldguys.com men på engelska. orkar inte översätta det. men tror nog ni kan läsa det även fast min engelska suger litegrann.
I can defiently understand why you question my picture.
Everyone does so, my mum, brother, sister, dad, my only friend I have left. None understands my problems or my personality since I can hide it *under the surface*. Because I dont speak about my problems for anyone and have never wanted to tell anyone about my problems. And I have never spoken with my mum/dad since they divorced as I was a very young kid. And my mum even left the country we lived in back then to a new country. I never even got the chance to say goodbye to my best friends or anything. One day she told me and my brother/sister that we are moving out of country. I was 9years then. I have a 3year old younger brother that never understood what happened but me and my sister took this very hard. Atleast I did, because my sister stayed to live with my dad and thats what i wanted too. But she never let that happen and its here all my problems start.
I have never spoken to anyone of my parents until now. I mean the only words I have said to my mum is, yes/no, hi/goodbye and goodnight. She has always had to ask me about things and I have answered yes/no, nothing more. And my dad, I have never really spoken to him since we have lived in different countries. So I have never really spoken to anyone, until now. No one could think of me like someone with problems because even tho I have never open my tongue, I have gotten very good exams and been doing well in sports and girls have liked me. Always been a very good looking boy but with a lot of hate and thoughts in my mind.
I have always said to myself that I don’t wanna be like anyone else. I don’t need to speak up since I have grown up by myself and my thoughts. Never ever asked for any homework help or money from my parents or anything. I have always said to myself that I don’t need any help from anyone. Because I have been doing very well in life except that I got all the hate and thoughts in my head.
This is why it has taken me 3years of zombie life to realize that I need help with my knee injury and my depressions about hair loss.
Maybe its easier now to understand, why I’m the one I’m. Why I cant argue or speak about stuff since I have stayed quite and only spoken to myself in my head about everything. As I said earlier I also got a little problem with stuttering and it surely most because I speak with my thoughts all the f***in time.
And yes it is a compliment to here from all you guys that I look good this way. Only wish that I can change myself to something normal now. To have the attitude that you or Bj got. Learn how to talk/argue without stuttering in my mind because it is really a problem that dosn’t need to exist.